


Pencils cause mental breakdowns

by HasKnees



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Crossdressing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Edd is having a really bad day, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Help him baby boy, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Tord is wearing a skirt f i ght me, Tord loves him so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 14:13:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15511617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HasKnees/pseuds/HasKnees
Summary: Edd is having an awful fucking day, and he can't seem to pick himself up.Good thing he has a Tord.





	Pencils cause mental breakdowns

**Author's Note:**

> I have a paperclip in my mouth and it's killing me

Edd grumbled, chewing at his lip as he moved his pencil across the paper. He didn't know why, but he couldn't seem to get anything right. The shapes were off, the sketching was off, everything in the damn drawing was off.

It looked awful. It looked fucking _awful_ and Edd hated it. 

The green hooded male crumbled up the paper, throwing into the trashcan without a second thought. The damn thing was honestly starting to over flow at this point, but he couldn't bring himself to care.

The cola lover pulled out a new piece of paper, starting to sketch again. Not even ten minutes in, Edd was beginning to get frustrated. Nothing looked right, it was all _wrong._

Crumbling up the paper again, Edd threw into the trashcan. This was pointless, it was so fucking pointless. Nothing looked right, everything looked bad, he couldn't draw for fucking shit.

Tears welled up in his hazel eyes, and immediately the green hooded male was wiping at his face and trying to swallow the lump in his throat. He wasn't going to cry, nope, no way. Crying was for pathetic babies, and Tord. He was not a pathetic baby. He wasn't Tord either.

Edd sighed, leaning back in his chair. He set the pencil on his desk, deciding he was done with this bullshit for the day. He'd drink some cola, calm down, rela-

_The pencil rolled off of the desk, falling onto the floor with a soft clunk._

Edd stared blankly for a few moments re-evaluating his entire life, before sucking in a breath and bursting into tears, sobbing loudly. 

"I C-CAN'T EVEN K-KEEP MY P-PENCIL ON M-MY FUCKING D-DESK, I'M A FUCKING F-FAILURE-" The green hooded male just barely choked out, sinking to the floor right next to the pencil, the stupid fucking pencil, fuck, fuck, fuck.

More sobs shook Edd's body, as he gave up completely at trying to silence them.

Goodness, he sounded so gross. So gross, and ugly, it was disgusting, _he_ was disgusting. His crying wasn't pretty like Tords, no his was fucking awful sounding. He hated it, he hated it just like he hated his voice, his hair, his face, his clothes. 

How he _hated_ himself.

Every little thing about him was terrible. Edd couldn't stand it, he couldn't stand himself. He couldn't do anything right. He'd never be enough, he was just worthless. Or at least that's how he felt.

Edd hated himself for feeling this way. It was selfish, it was so fucking selfish. He was selfish.

Small sniffles and hiccups left him as he curled his knees to his chest. He blocked out all noise within the house, not hearing the foot steps coming towards his room, and not hearing the door open.

Edd only cut out of his thoughts of self hatred when he heard Tord's voice.

"Heya, Eddy, I got myself a new skirt- oh my gosh, are you okay???" The Norwegians tone shifted from one of excitement to one of pure concern. It made Edd sob harder, internally cursing himself. Tord had sounded happy, and he'd gone and _ruined_ it.

"M' fine..." He mumbled softly, whimpering when Tord scooped him up and carried him over to the bed. The red hooded male settled back into the pillows, holding Edd in his lap. He lifted his hands up, running his fingers through the green hooded males dark hair.

"Shhh.. shh, I know you're not okay. It's okay to not be okay." 

Edd weakly shook his head, nuzzling his face into Tord's chest. The Norwegian sighed, kissing Edd's forehead gently and humming.

"Bad day...??" He asked, and Edd nodded, sniffling. He hated to admit it, but he just felt so warm and safe in Tord's arms. He snuggled closer, forcing his way up and into Tord's hoodie.

"Mhm.. I thought so..you know what your telling yourself isn't true, right?" 

"...." 

"Eddddd." Tord whined, lifting the green hooded males chin up. Edd diverted his gaze, mumbling, "It is true." 

The Norwegian sighed, lovingly kissing Edd's lips.

"You're so much more amazing then you know. You're talented, and sweet, and smart. You work _so_ hard, and you don't give yourself any credit. I admire you so, so fucking much, you have no idea. And I'm not the only one that admires you! You inspire so many people Edd, and you don't even know it. Seriously, everybody at school would _kill_ to be your friend." 

Edd blushed, whining and weakly kissing back. His sobbing had stopped for the most part, though tears were still rolling down his cheeks. His red hooded boyfriend gently wiped them, smiling adoringly.

"I love you so much. I really, really love you. More then anything. And not just because you're adorable- which you are, fight me. " Tord cooed, ruffling the cola lovers hair, Edd felt a bit better, the crushing feeling of self hatred fading away.

"I don't deserve you.." He mumbled, Tord kissing him immediately after.

"You _do_ deserve me. You deserve so much, Edd! All of the love, and the happiness in the world. And I'm gonna make sure you believe it one day. One day you're gonna love yourself, but until then, I'll just love you for you." 

Edd smiled softly, purring and burying his face into Tord's chest. He muttered a small "I love you", closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

Edd wasn't anywhere near loving himself yet, but maybe he could get there with the help of his loving gremlin boyfriend.

**Author's Note:**

> I want this paperclip to end me


End file.
